Monday 3 January 2011

The Rapture

Floods of biblical proportions in Australia, birds falling from the sky in America and earthquakes in the North of England. Oh bugger, it's the rapture.
Right, don't panic because i live opposite a priest and i just saw him coming back from the local Tesco so we have a bit of time right because all the goody two shoes are still here.
In order to find out what is going to happen and what we can do about it, i turned to the one and only source that can give us the answers. Blondie.
Right then, her Rapture video shows a black man in a white suit and white top hat prowling the streets so he should be quite easy to spot. Oh why did she start that rapping thing halfway through, if we weren't at the start of the End Times i'd click that link to Denis Denis on the right hand side.
So according to Blondie: 'And you get in your car and you drive real far, And you drive all night and then you see a light, And it comes right down and lands on the ground, And out comes a man from Mars.' Mars??
'And he shoots you dead and he eats your head, And then you're in the man from Mars, You go out at night, eatin' cars'.
So according to Blondie, the sinners will be shot and eaten by a man from Mars before going out to eat cars.
I'm beginning to think that we can't leave this to 80s American new wave bands but if we go back a few years to the Sex Pistols and their Anarchy in the UK song, Johnny Rotten proclaims himself an Anti-Christ.
That leaves the choices of going to heaven or staying here and being ruled over by Johnny Rotten.
Tell you what, if the options are punk music or eternity with Cliff Richards in my ear, you go on ahead.
I will take my chances here with the alien, how bad can a Nissan Micra taste?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lucy,

Revelation doesn't talk about floods and birds... In Genesis I think God promises not to reuse flood to wipe all humanity.

However, there might be some mention of a lot of snow in Russia and some whinners in the UK...

DAMN, maybe it has started!

Q

Lucy said...

If whinners in the UK is a sign of the rapture q, it must have started decades ago.