Saturday, 14 October 2017

Once Again With Feeling

Back in the 1980's there was a decent Scottish band called Simple Minds and although they packed away their instruments a long time ago, the name continues today although today's version of Simple Minds don't so much make music as sit in front of their computers and embarrass themselves on the Internet.
The Simple Minds of today seems to congregate around the Climate Change debate and get all shouty on their blogs and ignoring almost every climate change scientist, quote people in the pay of the Koch Brothers, the brothers who Greenpeace estimate have sent at least $100,343,292 directly to groups denying climate change science including the CATO Institute.    
An organisation is only as strong as its weakest link and the weakest link in the climate change deniers chain is the climate change deniers themselves which is why Environmentalists are subjected to weak arguments which confuse weather and climate which not only shows a fundamental flaw in their understanding of the subject but also a shocking lack of shame. 
Although the sort of people who ask if you still believe in Climate Change when it snows shouldn't be trusted to face the right way on the toilet, it would be cruel to leave them wallowing in their ignorance so i try my best to educate them in the difference between what is Climate and what is Weather.  
If possible, just after they have explained to you that that they have a full understanding of the subject, smile politely and tell them that Weather describes the condition when you look out of your window. It might be sunny, hot, windy, cloudy, raining or even snowing.
Climate on the other hand is the average weather conditions expected for a certain place and is based on the average weather experienced over decades and refers to what is expected to happen rather than the actual conditions.
So Climate is looking at what has happened already, Climate Change is the expected trend of conditions based on what has happened over the previous decades and Weather is the current conditions on the other side of the window.
See, if isn't hard to understand, it's called Climate Change and there is a huge clue to what it refers to in the name.
A last tip is if you can't see the door while on the toilet, you are probably facing the wrong way.
You're welcome.

Fishy Breath

In the news the other day was a hunter who after shooting at a moose, went over to inspect his 'prize' and got a hoof in the head as the stunned creature clambered back to its feet and ran off.
As when you read of a matador getting a horn up the backside during a bull-fight, occasionally animals some of us barbaraically kill for fun or sport gain their revenge which is what happened to the fisherman Sam Quilliam, 28.
An angler accidentally got a whole live dover sole stuck in his throat as the fish clearly took exception to his attempted kiss, wriggled free and jumped down his windpipe causing a complete blockage.
After paramedics removed the fish, Quilliam explained that he went to give it a kiss but it jumped out of his hand and into his mouth and swam straight down his throat.
Not put off by a fish trying to kill him, Sam says he will be back fishing again soon but i would say if he is going around kissing fish then a girlfriend and some industrial strength mouthwash is what he needs more than anything.

Friday, 13 October 2017

Moronic Trump And Iran

President Trump has proven himself to be exactly the moron that Rex Tillerson warned us he was by picking a fight with Iran by threatening to rip up the agreement unless he can fix the serious flaws in it. 
'Iran has been spreading death, destruction and chaos all around the world" he said before channeling his inner George W Bush by throwing out the accusation that Iran-backed attacks had killed many Americans over the years and that the country had 'harboured terrorists' after the 9/11 attacks.
The Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, predictably congratulated the President for 'boldly confronting Iran's terrorist game' and urged other countries to follow his lead although he will be disappointed because he may be a gullible idiot in the White House but not so much in the other main players in the deal.
It appears that the only person in the Trump administration who doesn't believes ripping up the agreement is dangerously foolish is Trump himself but apart from salving the frothing right wing, Trump's entire domestic and foreign policy decisions appear to be based entirely on if Obama had anything to do with it, then it has to go. 
I'm sure that others will point out that by far the most dangerous, the most destructive, the most deadly player in the Middle East has been the United States and it's allies Israel and Saudi Arabia, the very countries now doing their damnedest to bring about even more death and destruction but the real fear is that the deal falls apart, Iran pursues its nuclear ambitions and the world is suddenly a much more dangerous place.
At present there is a deal with Iran, there is no deal at all with North Korea and they are racing ahead with their nuclear bomb and the means to deliver it stoked by the Trump threats and rhetoric and Trump is pushing Iran the same way.
Our best hope is that the wheels of American justice which are slowly turning will crush him before the moron makes too much of a mess of the car crash that is his presidency.

Sweariest Parts Of Britain

There are some people who manage to cram in more swearwords than regular words into their sentences but as i'm from the South Eastern part of the UK, you won't find me doing it, Fu*k no.
A survey by Soap Supplies has revealed how often Brits swear in different areas and the South East is second best place for not hearing the occasional cuss word.
The place to head to if you like your air blue and your words sweary is Wales who manage to squeeze 12 Swearwords an hour into their conversation and then Yorkshire, Northern Ireland and Scotland.
If you are after a more refined vocabulary then the South West, East Midland and West Midlands and the South East is where to head with as few as 7 or 8 swearwords uttered per hour.  
As well as the area, the survey also discovered that people who work in the energy sector, Estate Agents and IT are the biggest swearers at work while pharmaceutical workers, retail and tourism swear the least at work.
Conclusive proof then that shop workers in the south west are wonderful while Estate Agents in Wales are wa***ers.

Welcome To Hel

The Airport code for Helsinki is HEL and Finnair has a flight 666 so obviously today of all days Flight 666 has to go to HEL, if only to draw a bit of attention to the small, Scandinavian country.
Despite all the bad omens, the flight from Copenhagen to Helsinki departed at 1.28pm and arrived safely in the Finnish capital at 3.47pm.
'Finland’s national airline has flown passengers to HEL on Flight 666 for 11 years, with 21 of these flights on the unluckiest day of the year' a spokesman for the airline said.
However, today will be the last time Flight 666 flies to Hel, as the airline has decided to retire the flight number.
One option to avoid any potential Friday the 13th bad luck is to stay in bed all day like Bob Renphrey who does just that after some seriously bad luck which saw him involved in four car crashes, fall into a river and been made redundant on previous Friday the 13ths.
One person who staying at home didn't pan out so well for was New York resident, Daz Baxter, who was apparently so afraid of Friday the 13th he decided the safest place to stay was his bed but was killed when the floor of his apartment block collapsed that day.
Probably the worst luck is to be part of a spelling contest and get asked to spell the word for a fear of Friday the 13th – paraskavedekatriaphobia.

Why There Should Be UN Israel Bias

The US have announced Thursday it is withdrawing from the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) due to alleged 'anti-Israel bias' which Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu hailed as a brave and moral decision.
My reply is if their isn't a United Nation bias against Israel then something is very, very wrong because Israel  has quite rightly been on the end of an amazing number of UN resolutions, mostly calling for the nation to stop attacking its neighbours. 
Israel had been condemned in 45 resolutions by United Nations Human Rights Council, almost more resolutions condemning Israel than on the rest of the world combined and the UN General Assembly has adopted a number of resolutions saying that the Israelis are performing war crimes and crimes against humanity and that the strategic relationship with the United States bankrolling the Israeli military encourages it to pursue aggressive and expansionist policies and practices.
Poor old Israel, what has it done to be on the end of the UN's ire in its 65 years lifetime?
Take your pick from scuppering peace talks at every turn, mopping up occupied Palestinian land with illegal settlements, killing innocent Palestinians, holding over 9000 Palestinians in its prisons, destroying farms, bulldozing homes and businesses, using Palestinian children as human shields and building a monstrous wall deemed illegal by the international court of justice, oppression of its neighbours and turning Gaza into an outdoor prison.
America is finding itself on the wrong side of so many arguments recently under the man his own Secretary of State Rex Tillerson called 'a moron' and backing the most warmongering nation on the planet is yet another one.
If their isn't a UN bias, there certainly should be as Israel defies countless UN resolutions and carries on it's occupation and genocide against the citizens of Palestine while other countries are invaded and leaders removed for defying just one.

Wednesday, 11 October 2017

Sexual Predator Weinstein

I had never heard of Hollywood mogul Harvey Weinstein until the news broke about his sexual assaults but thankfully he has been exposed as a sexual predator.    
Weinstein has apologised for causing 'a lot of pain with the way I've behaved with colleagues in the past' but the pain he was causing never seemed to occurred to him until the scandal broke and allegations surfaced of rape and groping women.
Now he has lost his job, his family and his reputation and his friends although it seems hard to believe that they didn't know he was a sex pest.
Meryl Streep called Weinstein's behaviour 'inexcusable' and even Donald Trump, a renown sex pest himself, has condemned him but there has been a couple of voices defending him, female voices most shockingly.
Fashion Designer Donna Karan and Lindsey Lohan have both shamefully come out in defence of Weinstein with Lohan saying the accusations should stop and Karan seeming to blame women for they way they present themselves by what they wear.
Absolute nonsense from both as was the statement from Weinstein that blamed his actions on the workplace culture in the '60s and '70s, as if back then it was fine to sexually assault any females they liked the look of.
An apology and a promise to seek treatment is no consolation for decades of sexually assaulting women and even a prison sentence won't erase the pain of those of his victims but will show that such behaviour against women will not be tolerated and anyone who does indulge in such actions, will be prosecuted to the fullest extent no matter who they are.

Sunday, 8 October 2017

Science Says Drink Coffee And Live Longer

If some people had their way latte, mars bars, 20 John Player Specials and alcohol would be banned but science has shown that caffeine prevents the onset of dementia and Alzheimer's, chocolate helps control blood pressure, cigarettes shortens reaction time and improves short term memory and drinking beer reduces the risk of kidney stones but you don't see posters for those at the doctors surgery.
Now science has come good again in the fight against things that are said to be bad for you with coffee now being nudged to the 'good' side.
While it could legitimately be said that a single cup of coffee caused the death of tens of millions of people, a ten year study has found that people who drink coffee live longer.
The study looked at 20,000 people living in the Mediterranean who drank at least four cups of coffee every day over a ten year period and during the ten years, 337 died.
They found that, compared to people who never or rarely touched the brown stuff, dedicated coffee drinkers had a 64% lower risk of dying early.
They worked out that drinking two additional cups of coffee a day was associated with a 22% lower risk of death.
And the longevity benefits of coffee were found to be the strongest for people over the age of 45, suggesting coffee might be even more beneficial for us as we age.
The findings coincide with another study from 2015, which found that those who drank up to four coffees a day had a lower risk of death, including decaf coffee.
Other studies have also linked coffee with a lower risk of developing type 2 diabetes and healthy livers.
So get the kettle on, grab the Mellow Birds and live longer.

Trump Desperate For War In His Calm Before The Storm

For those of us who remember the build up to the Iraq War in 2003, the American shifting of Iran into it's gun-sight has a very similar and alarming ring to it.
In 2003, George W Bush and Tony Blair agreed to remove Saddam Hussein from power in Iraq and set about fitting the evidence so that they could sell the war to their sceptical public.   
After many false starts (Nuclear ambitions, links to Al Queada), they settled upon his stockpile of Weapons of Mass Destruction as the reason they had to remove him.
Saddam said he never had any and the UN Weapons Inspectors spent six months fruitlessly looking until Bush and Blair told them to get out and launched a devastating attack which killed over a million Iraqis, allowed the place to become full of terrorists and plunged it into a tailspin which continues today.
Saddam was removed and executed but the WMD's were never found as the UN continued to shout before, during and after the American attack.
It appeared that Bush and Blair would have their war no matter what and Donald Trump seems to be desperate to have one now and it looks like the recipient of America's own WMD's will be either North Korea or Iran.
Donald Trump is expected to withdraw his endorsement of the nuclear deal with Iran next week citing that the Iranian regime 'supports terrorism' and 'exports violence and chaos across the Middle East'.
The deal which Trump looks set to wash his hands of, is supported by the US, UK, France, China, Russia and Germany and as recent as a fortnight ago the UN and senior American security officials announced that Iran was abiding by the 2015 nuclear agreement.
The defence secretary, James Mattis, said last week that staying with the deal awas in US national security interests and the European signatories are determined to sideline America and stick with the deal if Trump, as expected, pulls out of it.
Business leaders who gathered for an Iran-Europe forum in Switzerland last week said they were prepared to do everything possible to salvage the deal in the event of a US withdrawal including pushing for retaliatory legislation and protective legalisation's.
The International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) has certified that Iran has restricted its nuclear activities and the British Government tweeted how Iran had been abiding on it's side of the deal by closing down two thirds of their centrifuges, shipping 95% of all weapons grade material abroad, destroying heavy water plants and signing up to 25 years of UN 'extraordinary and robust monitoring,
verification, and inspection' with Inspectors from the IAEA, already continuously monitoring Iran's nuclear facilities and verifying that there was 'no credible indications of weapons development'.
Like Bush back in 2003, Trump is unable to point to a smoking gun upon which to hoist Iran and has come up with the weaselly 'violated the spirit of that deal' and although he has not said he will pull out of the deal on the 15th October, it is expected that is exactly what he will do.
So the UN’s nuclear watchdog has reported that Iran is sticking to its obligations but unlike with Bush and Blair, the Europeans as well as China and Russia are not on board and have roundly rejected the Trump assessment and come down on the side of Iran in the argument so we can expect Trump and his supporters to take a leaf from the Bush and Blair playbook and throw out accusations until it can find one that sounds just shady enough to give Trump the war that he seems so determined to have.
Hopefully, the UN and the rest of the World won't be quite so ready to play along this time and the American warmongering is strangled at birth before it builds up a head of steam and Trump is removed, whatever way is quickest, before he unleashes devastation.

Saturday, 7 October 2017

What Did Mexico Do?

Some nations just don't seem to have much luck and it is usually the Japanese who are on the end of human misadventure and mother nature throwing a hissy fit but now it seems she has given Japan a break and is having a pop at Mexico instead.
It isn't enough that it shares a border with an America under the control of the mentally disturbed Donald Trump but in the last few months it has suffered several major earthquakes and hurricanes and now a volcano is sputtering back into life. 
It never rains but it pours as the saying goes but what is raining down is volcanic material as Popocatepetl spews out ash and lava which the experts put down to the recent seismic activity.
CENAPRED, the official disaster monitoring agency in Mexico, reports that a total of four major explosions were registered at the volcano, throwing volcanic material 1.2 miles into the air and forcing the Government to declare an eight mile exclusion zone around the volcano citing 'ballistic volcanic debris'.
A Phase 2 Yellow warning has been declared indicating mild to intermediate strength explosive activity at the volcano for the foreseeable future so Mexico must be wondering what it has done to attract the wrath of Mother Nature who seems determined to continue to smack it around for some reason.

Immersive Screening Not So Original

Back in the late 80's a local cinema would screen midnight horror films and the staff would dress up in costume and in the scariest bits of films would jump out from behind pillars dressed as Jason from Halloween, appear suddenly with a torch in front of their masked face or throw cotton wool balls at you and generally try to give you the willies while the film was going on.
Seems our local cinema was ahead of it's time because now it's a thing and they call it 'immersive screenings'.
During some cinema screenings of the disappointingly poor remake of 'IT', a real-life Pennywise the Clown would creep around the auditorium during the film, jumping out at them and basically scaring the living daylights out of everyone there.
'There's huge growth in this area' says Simon Oakes, CEO of British horror brand Hammer, who went on to explain that the younger generation want to be involved in a story rather than told it and they have come up with something completely original.
I am guessing Mr Oakes wasn't in the Portsmouth ABC Cinema in 1987 during the Midnight showing of Nightmare on Elm Street 3 so he probably didn't hear me and my friends scream when Freddie Kruger leapt up from the seat directly in front and lunged as us with knife gloves clicking so i can guarantee that immersive screening works but as for being original, thirty years ago it was but we
just called it scaring the holy sh*t out of the audience.

Skipping The Draconid Meteor Shower

The Comet 21P/Giacobini-Zinner may have been zipping around the Solar System for four or five billion years but it wasn't discovered until 1900 and it is this 1.2 mile wide comet whose debris we will be travelling through tonight to give us the annual Draconid meteor shower which is promising to 'light up the sky' to quote the media but when it comes to meteor showers, tonight's is definitely 3rd class.
A meteor shower is the result of the interaction between the Earth and a stream of debris from a comet and as the comet gets closer to the Sun, some of its icy surface boils off, releasing the trapped streams of particles of dust and rock.
This comet debris gets strewn out along the comet's path and as the Earth makes its journey around the Sun, its orbit crosses the cloud of comet debris.
The debris burn up in our atmosphere which is the bright flare that we see in the night sky and we have ourselves a meteor shower but the Draconid's are very much a poor relation to some of the other showers we get at other times of the year.
Of the major meteor showers, some have a very low-rate of meteors showers and the Draconids produces 5-10 meteors an hour meaning 1 every 10 minutes on average at its peak which is a long wait on a cold October night and you know you will miss some of them as you are pouring yourself a coffee or adjusting your chair.
My advice is if you are going to be sat outside gaining hypothermia, do it during a high rate shower as these promise a meteor every 30 seconds and these are the Quadrantids (January 4th), the Perseids (August 13th) and the Geminids (December 13th).
The next level of meteor shower come in at a meteor approximately every 3 minutes and are the Lyrids 9 (April 16-25), the Eta Aquarids (May 6th), the Delta Aquarids (July 27-30) and the Orionids (October 22).
The lowest rate meteor showers, the group tonight's Draconids is in, gives a meteor approximately every 10 minutes and includes the South Taurids (November 4), the North Taurids (November 12) and the Leonids (November 17) and are really only for the most dedicated.
Unfortunately, despite the hyperbole, the only way the sky will be lit up tonight is if the local chippie catches fire.

Tuesday, 3 October 2017

End Of The Line For Tom Petty

For me Tom Petty's death rates up there with Michael Jackson, George Michael, David Bowie and Prince but apart from a mention way down the news items, i have found myself having to explain who he was to anyone born after 1990. 
Like the rest of the big names, he was a constant from my teenage years although obviously not as widely known, one of those musicians who everybody knows the name but they struggle to name more than a handful of his songs.
His back catalogue has some classics songs, 'American Girl', 'I Won't Back Down', 'Runnin' Down A Dream', 'Learning To Fly', 'Mary Jane's Last Dance' and my favourite Petty song, 'Into The Great Wide Open' but surprisingly he only had four songs in the UK Top 40 and the highest chart position was 'I Won't Back Down' at 28 in 1989 although he seemed much more appreciated in his American homeland.   
Even as a member of supergroup, The Travelling Wilbury's, commercial success eluded him in the UK with only one song, 'Handle With Care' breaking the top 40.
I'm not sure why his star failed to shine quite so bright this side of the Atlantic but he was certainly treasured in the Lucy household and in homage to a very much under appreciated guitarist and musician i badly sang along to 'End Of The Line' and 'Into The Great Wide Open' on the way home tonight.
I'm sure he would have appreciated it but of The Wilbury's, the ultimate Supergroup of the late 80s and early 90s featuring Jeff Lynne, Tom Petty, Roy Orbison, Bob Dylan and George Harrison, only two remain and that's quite sad.

Monday, 2 October 2017

End Of The Line For May

In any other employment you would feel sorry for Theresa May but sympathy runs short for a party that has heaped so much harm and deprivation onto its citizens so the sympathy doesn't last that long. 
Without doubt, watching Theresa May at the Conservative Party conference, she looks haggard, tired and older than her 61 years as she fights fires on so many fronts.
It is reported after her election debacle which saw her majority sliced, she had a mini-breakdown and the Grenfell fire followed by battles with the junior doctors and the surge in support for the Labour Party along with her war with her own public servants has seen her grimacing and fidgeting through uncomfortable interviews.
Now her own Conservative colleagues are manoeuvring to stab her in the back and replace her so her current position is anything but safe so you do wonder just why she continues to do it when she obviously is not able to do so.
As much as i enjoy watching the Tories squirm and implode in their desperation to cling onto power, you have to look at those forming the queue, knife in hand, ready to push her aside. 
Boris Johnson is a laughing stock, Rees Mogg the devout Roman Catholic and Doctor Fox who is this generations Norman Tebbit which could be the reason why she clings on and why nobody has yet moved against her because if she is replaced they will be under massive pressure to hold another election and with a resurgent Jeremy Corbyn and Labour OParty, they really don't want one.
Despite her dead eyed look and body language of a manic depressive, it seems it suits the Conservatives to leave her with the zero credibility, zero personality and zero vision or policies in power for now.
As she looks so close to the end of her rope, the smart money is on her resignation and a new general election within the next six months.

Same Old Story In Las Vegas

It is almost a cold stone certainty that if you get into a debate with a gun loving American they will at some point mumble that much loved refrain that the only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun is a good guy with a gun.
That strange defence of guns fell apart today following event's in Las Vegas when the attacker used an automatic weapon to fire from a high hotel room down into a confined crowd of thousands but then that won't stop the second amenders because nothing does.
In a country with a long history of gun violence, if the country couldn't force through changes after the Sandy Hook massacre which ended with 22 dead children, 59 dead country and Western fans won't do it.
If anything a madman running amok with legally owned guns is good for the ghastly business of gun sales as gun manufacturers stock prices tend to rise after similar mass shootings in the past.
After the Orlando and San Bernardino shootings there was a two to three-month surge in firearms sales so explained one TV commenter today pointing out the lunacy that on average 80 people die from gunshot wounds every day in the USA, so far this year, there have been 11,565 gun deaths in the US.
Maybe someone should be asking why this happens with such alarming regularity only in America and how the gun-nuts are able to control the debate where their second amendment rights trumps everything else including their right not to be killed while at a music concert because a sicko was able to legally own and use weapons which are built and designed only to kill as many people as possible.

Sunday, 1 October 2017

Day Of Violence In Catalonia

'No referendum has been held in Catalonia today" said Spanish Prime Minister, Mariano Rajoy, which is strange because i could have sworn i have just seen on the news over 850 voters hospitalised by police as they tried to vote in it.
I must have imagined those baton charges and rubber bullets being fired or maybe the Spanish PM was just being satirical as he later said that 'democracy had prevailed' and praised the police for behaving 'in a professional manner'.
The British foreign ministry was among many European nations who backed the Spanish Government as they wanted to see: 'the Spanish constitution respected and the rule of law upheld' while the French said the Spanish were a friendly nation which must make you wonder how beating people over the head and shooting at them is considered a chummy thing to do.
The irony is the polls had the number of Catalonians who wanted to break away from Spain was 41% so if they had done nothing then they would have easily won the referendum but in a spectacular own goal after the brutal scenes of police violence today that number would have jumped to an overwhelming majority.
Armed police beating the hell out of unarmed civilians trying to vote is not the way to win friends and the EU or whoever has the power must now call for the head of Mr Rajoy before the Catalonians retaliate with weapons of their own and things really get out of control.

Saturday, 30 September 2017

Drinking Hot Tea When You're Hot Myth Exposed

A broken Central Heating System in our offices really opened a can of worms but then the worms were instantly roasted because for the past month it has been like Summer all over again only minus the tan lines.    
A chance conversation between myself and one colleague who was half hanging out a window and another who was jabbing at the defunct electric fan with a butter knife led us to talk of whether drinking a hot drink actually cools you down.
I have always wondered if this is a true fact or something everyone just repeats and with perfect timing a hot and sweaty Indian came in to see if we had seen his butter knife which had mysteriously disappeared from the staffroom.       
In a quick piece of distraction while the knife got slipped down the back of the filing cabinet, he was asked if they drink hot tea in India to cool down and he said that the older generation drink hot tea all the time regardless of the season so it's more of a cultural rather than a cooling thing but the younger generation tend to drink cola when it gets hot.
Telling him we thought we saw his butter knife in the cutlery draw, we then went on a mission to find out if people in hot countries did actually drink hot drinks and we cornered a Greek student who looked at us as if we were mad and said if you had the choice between a cold drink and a hot cup of tea in 40c Greek summer heat, there is no doubt which he'd choose and it wasn't the tea.
In the restaurant we found a couple of colleagues with scientific credentials who explained that the assumption is that by drinking something hot, you bodies core temperature increases so you sweat and sweating cools you down but as the sweating only cools you down to the temperature you were before drinking the tea elevated your temperature in the first place, it's quite pointless and if someone
hands you a hot cup of tea when your hot you would be better off waiting for it to cool down and pouring it over yourself.
We left them to their conversation about Star Wars and the periodic table or whatever science types talk about and went to hunt down other people from hot climates, such as the Chinese janitor who said that where the summers in Hong Kong were stiflingly hot and cold tea is mostly served because while hot tea is considered a year-round drink, it's not popular during summer.
Considering it case closed, the Thai cleaning lady threw us back into confusion by saying sweet, hot tea is exactly the thing they drink over there to cool themselves down in the heat which my much travelled neighbour agree with followed by a lengthy conversation about tea drinking in Bangkok and how drinking iced drinks didn't agree with his stomach and he had to use the toilet frequently.
In short, what i mostly learnt was not to dig around inside a fan with a butter knife and only offer my neighbour a cold drink if a toilet is close by but i am still no closer to finding if drinking hot drinks when you are hot cools you down.

Friday, 29 September 2017

It's All About The Safety For Us Brits

I guess if you were spending £133 billion of our money on something you would be looking for a good reason justify it which is why the Government today wheeled out that we need nuclear missiles because if us plucky Brits didn't have them, it would: 'make the world a more dangerous place'.
How a small island off the coast of Europe with a dark history of invading other countries having the capacity to wipe out millions of lives in one fell swoop is not a dangerous thing i can't really understand but then most of the the nuclear powers are amongst the last countries that should have them.
During a tour of the nuclear submarine base in Scotland with NATO Secretary general, The Defence Secretary threw out North Korea as another reason to keep the nukes, stating that when North Korea threatens America, it threatens the whole of NATO, raising the prospect that Royal Navy submarines could be used to defend America in the event of an attack.
That would be Britain and our 120 nuclear missiles protecting America armed with 4000 nuclear missiles of their own then.
Next time anyone hears a Brit moaning about the sweeping austerity cuts we should remind them that running down the NHS and taking benefits off the disabled is a small price to pay for keeping the World safe and protecting America from those nasty North Koreans.
Sure all the other countries without nuclear weapons are spending their billions on improving the lives of their citizens but us British have always been about keeping the World safe, even if we had to invade most nations and kill many of its population to do it.

Tuesday, 26 September 2017

Happy Birthday (Probably)

Happy Birthday To you, Happy Birthday to you, I saw a big fat monkey and i thought it was you!
I am confident that someone out there will be blowing out candles on a birthday cake later today because September 26th is the most popular day in the UK to celebrate being another year older.
More children are born in late September early October than in any other time of the year which even with my tenuous grip on maths suggests babies are most likely to be conceived around Christmas.
According to the Office for National Statistics (ONS) the most common birthday in England and Wales is 26 September so if you are one of those you share your special day with Ricky Tomlinson, Anne Robinson, Bryan Ferry, Linda Hamilton, Will Self, Michael Ballack, Serena Williams, Olivia Newton-John and Jon Richardson. 
Hope you have a great day and remember at least you are not as old as you will be next year.

Monday, 25 September 2017

Mail Piece On Global Warming Rubbished

Earlier this year the Mail newspaper ran a piece attacking National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration climate scientists based on an interview with former NOAA scientist John Bates.
The UK press regulator, the Independent Press Standards Organisation (Ipso) has now ruled that the Mail piece was inaccurate and misleading and failed to correct these significantly misleading statements following a complaint from Bates that the Mail, along with Fox News, had grossly misrepresented his words which had subsequently then reverberated through the right-wing media echo chamber.
The right wing Mail has a long history of climate denial, including error-riddled stories on Arctic sea ice, Antarctic sea ice, human-caused global warming, even the very existence of global warming to such a degree that Wikipedia editors consider it an unreliable source and banned its use.
Climate change deniers have no no qualms about pushing inaccuracies from unreliable sources, as long as the story advances their climate denial agenda and trying to manufacture doubt about human-caused global warming.
Although the Mail's on Sunday’s 'significantly misleading statements' have been exposed, their misinformation has been spread around millions of people and repeated by the useful idiots who cling to anything, even blatant lies, to back up their weak arguments against the 98% of climate scientists who warn us continuously that we are warming the planet dangerously fast and the catastrophic  consequences if we don't deal with it quickly.

Would You Adam And Eve It

There was always been a clear dividing line between atheists and creationists but it seems that even those whose regular reading material includes Genesis have come to the conclusion that it's all nonsense.
A YouGov poll has found that 81% of religious folk in the UK accept Darwinism for the evolution of man and 84% reject the creation myth that God made the Earth in six days, had a bit of a snooze on the seventh and created Adam and Eve as the first humans.
Religion in the UK has been on the slide for decades but when the believers refuse to accept the fundamentals of their beliefs it does make you wonder what's the point.
The few remaining deluded creationists will continue to argue that the Garden of Eden with Adam and Eve is how the human story but the Genesis story is lifted almost whole from the Persians Avesta which long before told the exact same story of how their God, Ormuzd, created the world and the first two humans with a man, Enkidu, created from the earth.
He lived amongst the animals in a garden of paradise until he is tempted by a woman, Shamhat. He accepts food from this woman and is forced to leave the place where he lives and encounters a snake which steals a plant of immortality from him.
Sounds familiar, like most of the Bible stories which are just retellings of tales from religions which were already established at the time in a fantastic piece of plagiarism.
Over the centuries as we became more knowledgeable of our surroundings, religious belief has been chipped away at but if only a paltry 16% of the churchy types believe the stuff the churches are spouting, why are we even bothering with it anymore?

Saturday, 23 September 2017

Stopping The Mentally Deranged Dotard

Get your self a body bag, strap yourself in, and start making friends the Donald Trump way by threatening to kill everyone in another country!
When nobody thought he had a prayer of beating Hillary they were queueing up to mock him, the Saudi called him a disgrace, the Mexicans said he was crazy, the British Prime Minister at the time said that if he came to visit our country he'd unite us all against him and even the Pope joined in saying he wasn't much of a Christian.
Now that he is President they are all keeping their heads down except for Iran, Venezuela and North Korea with Kim Jong-Un replying to the Americans threat to 'totally destroy' his country by called him a mentally deranged dotard.
Such is the hatred worldwide for Donald Trump that in the twitter battle between Trump and a man who had his own brother killed and had one of his uncles tied to a pole and eaten alive by starving dogs while another was executed with anti-aircraft guns, Trump is the mental case.
In less than a year he has taken us to the brink of a nuclear war with North Korea and has stoked a previously compliant Iran into increasing its military power 'as a deterrent' after he announced fresh sanctions on Iran over its Nuclear Program despite a UN and US announcement just last week that Iran was complying with its side of the peace agreement.
Tonight it is said that US bombers have flown close to North Korea's east coast in another provocation to Pyongyang but despite Trump's best efforts to start a war, there's can be no military option here, unless the US considers millions of South Koreans, Japanese and Americans on its West coast deaths to be a price worth paying.
Kim may be a blowhard and a paranoid megalomaniac but it is Trump who is prodding and pushing him into giving him an excuse to destroy North Korea and many of its population.
Trump is the dangerous one trying to incite an incident in this scenario and unless someone in the chain of command is ready to stand up to him, he will be responsible for outstripping the death toll of almost all of the many Wars America have conducted put together. 
You only hope that someone, somewhere is ready to take whatever action is needed to bring about the required regime change before the mentally deranged dotard gets the war he so badly wants.

Is Your Child Right Wing?

Do you think your teenager might be a right winger? Here are some warning signs: They struggle to read even the most basic literature, have no concern for their fellow man, they don't like to share and appear to be intellectually backwards.
If they refuse to recycle, question climate change or believe in the fairness of our Capitalist system then you should find a teacher or trained medical person immediately because i'm sorry to say, but you have a right winger on your hands.
Of course sometimes it isn't that easy, one of the traits of the right winger is that they are too unintelligent to even understand that their views are abhorrent so what can a parent do to stop the rot before it firms up and ends in the nightmare scenario of your child applying for a Conservative Party membership? 
Unfortunately you won't be able to tell by looking at your child's record collection because all ideologies love pop music and at first glance, music isn’t very right wing.
Even with a second, third and fourth glance it still isn't so where are the musicians and songs that highlight right wing ideals, a carrion call to music lovers for smaller Government, free markets and more wars against Muslim countries filled with oil?
Why no tunes putting the case for right wing luminaries such as Margaret Thatcher, Donald Trump or Hitler, i have yet to hear anyone sing a positive lyric about Adolf and NAZI's are very much in vogue with the right wing over in the States.
You can't swing a cat without hitting songs espousing left-wing ideals that oppose various current political regimes, reject war or call for equality to assorted oppressed groups but even with the thickest of rose-coloured glasses the right wing tune-smiths can't extract an acceptable amount of lyrics from their ideology to put together three minutes worth of song.
Our Pop music choices therefore are not an indicator of who is a right winger so it's back to looking for the dull, glazed over eyes and social awkwardness to distinguish them then.

Thursday, 21 September 2017

Sept 23: End Of The World...Again

How's your week going so far? Well, best make the most of it as things are going to go seriously downhill on Saturday because according to Biblical Scholars, the World is going to end this weekend. Again.
Apparently thanks to an alignment of several planets and constellations, the Rapture is set for 23 September which will see all 'worthy' Christians ascend to heaven and leaving the rest of us 'unworthy' ones to perish here on the Earth as per the Bible passage Revelation 12: 1-2 which predicts the Antichrist arriving and bringing with him devastation, which could really spoil any plans you had for Sunday but don't worry because if the Rapture on Saturday isn't convenient for you, there are two more on the way.
The first is scheduled to begin in 2020 and if you miss that one there will be another one along in 2021, those Bible passages are notoriously difficult to get accurate it seems so the worthy Christians may just have to knock along with us unworthy ones coveting our neighbours asses and whistling on a Sunday for a while longer yet.
Not too long though because The Messiah Foundation International preach that a massive asteroid is hurtling toward our planet, on course to collide in 2026 and in a shocking twist, will bring about the Rapture when the Lord will return and save everyone worth saving...etc etc.
Issac Newton may be known as the man who discovered Gravity but you do wonder just hard that apple hit him on the head as he calculated from the Book of Revelations that mankind will come to a screeching halt in 2060 although he didn't specify how it will all end.
The Muslims are much clearer with the details, they have the world ending with earthquakes and volcanoes in 2129 before it all turns a bit Japanese Manga Comic with a one-eyed beast battling the Messiah as Gog and Magog, whoever they are, descending upon the Earth.
There are no such monsters in the Judaism end days penciled in for 30th September 2239 when the Messiah will appear to help us prepare for his new kingdom of Heaven but it will only be for those who actively prepare for his arrival so as you won’t be allowed into the Heaven Party if you don’t help set it up so maybe make some sandwiches that day, not Ham ones though.
Finally, the Buddhists have their policies of peace and self-reflection, serenity and rebirth but in the year 84517 they say that our Sun will be joined by six others and the Earth and all on it will burst into flames in a fiery explosion. 
So there are some dates that the World will end to jot into your diary starting this Saturday but i will stick my neck out and predict that if you have a ticket for the Brighton v Newcastle game this Sunday, then you shouldn't cancel your travel arrangements but it may be worth checking if in the event of the Rapture, you can get a refund just in case.

Wednesday, 20 September 2017

Rocketman v The Cheeto In Chief

Donald Trump seems to have dived to the depths of infantile name calling and has taken to calling North Korean Kim Jung Un 'Rocketman' and as Kim is just as childish as the unhinged American President you can almost sense he is sitting in Pyongyang going through the options of what to call him in response.
The options he faces are to go with something about his weird hair, his less than svelte figure, his blatant racism, his being a self confessed sex fiend, the teeny tiny penis, the love of Hitler, his lack of spelling skills or the strangely orange skin.
Lots for Kim to ponder there, maybe rotate them but he may have to be quick because it seems that the Gropenfurher may have decided that despite threatening to kill 25 million North Koreans because he doesn't like their leader, North Korea is too hard and has moved his sights onto another country to threaten with it now being Iran's turn to hear Trumps crazy rantings.
In his incoherent rambling UN speech, Trump called Iran a: 'depleted rogue state whose chief exports are violence, bloodshed, and chaos', a diatribe applauded by Israel who has been visiting violence, bloodshed and chaos on its neighbours for 60 years and Saudi Arabia who is currently using its military to violently reduce the population of Yemen.
Three more hateful, warmongering regimes you could not wish to meet but Iran is now the bad guy despite only last week the UN and the USA declaring that Iran was keeping their side of the agreement to limit the scope of Iran’s nuclear power programme to remove the potential for nuclear weapons development.
Obviously assuming he could use the same rhetoric that he uses to the white supremacists at his rallies, he was wildly out of his depth and it would be funny if Trump stayed to taking a wrecking ball and destabilize his own country but he is starting to leech outside of America's walls and making threats to other nations in league with some of histories worst violators which can only tip an already finely balanced World so it is down to the rest of the World to slap him down hard when he gets another temper tantrum.

What We Know About Mark Sampson

I do wonder how the England Women Football team feel about that show of support for their now former manager Mark Sampson after he was sacked for 'inappropriate and unacceptable behaviour'.
The details of exactly what constituted the unacceptable behaviour is being shielded by the FA but what we do know is that whatever happened, it was during his time at Bristol City Academy when he was in charge of the 16-19 year old girls. 
He was investigated by the FA in 2015 after allegations against him from Bristol City girls and his behaviour was found to be enough for a period of mentoring and training 'to establish the boundaries between manager and players' only reflects badly on the FA who appointed him England Women's manager despite the enquiry findings.
It was only after two England players, Eniola Aluko and Drew Spence, announced charges of racism, harassment and bullying against him that the FA decided to have another look at his record and decide that he wasn't appropriate after all.
The Women in Football Organisation have said that they raised concerns with the FA over Sampson's suitability for the England role during the England recruitment process after highlighting Sampson being given training and mentoring following the enquiry into his behaviour with the teenage girls at Bristol City.
The FA can't say they were not warned about him and it is to their dishonour that they have only now got around to reading the full enquiry details of his unacceptable behaviour but even worse is if the England women knew these full facts whilst giving him such a public show of support on Tuesday.

Tuesday, 19 September 2017

Speak Up May

Rumours abound regarding Theresa May's Brexit themed speech in Florence this Friday although nobody expects her to make the one that she should do, the one that tells everyone that we will not being going ahead with Brexit.
The madness that is Brexit will carry on under this Government and although no details are forthcoming, the address is likely to be seen as a bid to break the deadlock in divorce talks as negotiations falter on the cost of the financial settlement which sums ranging up tp £100 billion.
EU officials are refusing to discuss a future relationship until sufficient progress has been made on a settling of the bill while Britain wants to discuss both concurrently.
The most persistant rumours are that May will agree a financial settlement of £50 billion to cover the UK's liabilities, to be paid over an undefined period so talks can continue.
It won't be popular, especially as the Brexiters main beef was the amount we pay to the EU but considering Brexit amounts to economic suicide anyway, what's throwing another £50 billion into the wind when we have a growing debt of £1.56 trillion and a financially inept Government running things.

Saturday, 16 September 2017

How To Survive A Nuclear War

The US has warned it could revert to military options if new sanctions fail to curb North Korean missile and nuclear tests, after Pyongyang fired a missile over Japan for the second time in two weeks and so the threat of war between two nuclear nations takes a step closer but don't fear because i have got my hands on the Government pamphlet, 'How to survive a Nuclear War'.
Fair enough it was published in 1980 but advises the public on what to do in the face of nuclear war with handy hints on how to deal with the effects of nuclear fall-out, outlines how to plan for survival and recognise the warning signs when an attack is imminent, and advises on what to do immediately following an attack and in the days after.
The first section advises people on how to make a fallout room in the centre of your home as far away from windows and walls as possible to protect from radioactive fallout dust.
If you have no fall out room then pack furniture around a large table and crawl beneath.
Families would remain in the room for some 14 days after the attack, so the brochure provides a list of essential items to stockpile. 
The list includes enough drinking water for each person to drink two pints a day, tinned food which you can eat cold (don't forget the can opener), a portable radio and spare batteries to listen for instructions about what to do after the attack, cutlery and crockery, warm clothing, a first aid kit, a clock and a calendar.
It also lists blankets, torches and candles, chairs, a bucket and toilet roll and a change of clothing. 
Section 3 of the pamphlet explains what to do if you hear the attack warning, turn of the gas and electric, shut the windows, draw the curtains and go to the fall out room.
The final section explains that if a family member should die whilst in the shelter, wrap them in plastic bin bags and leave them outside with a note for identification purposes.

All very useful information but what it doesn't mention is that if you live within 20 miles of a military facility don't bother looking for toilet roll or a bucket as you will be instantly incinerated in the initial blast but if you are still alive after 14 days, you can crawl out from your fall out room or makeshift shelter under the table and survey what is left of the planet, which wouldn't be very much.

Friday, 15 September 2017

Trump's Tiny Todger Troubles

With an ego as big, and an intelligence so small, the mocking of Donald Trumps teeny tiny penis is going to irritate him bigly so the man with the tiny todger is going to try and scotch the rumour at every opportunity.
The dubious medical science is that Donald Trump has small hands hence what he has in the boxer short department is also small.
Only Mrs Trump will know for certain if Donald has less meat in his pants that a vegan restaurant but the withered willied Mr Trump is ultra-sensitive to this particular insult and has denied rumours about the size of his dinky dick which is why during a trip to a relief shelter in Houston, Trump declared while putting on some gloves that his hands were too big and then repeated it during a separate trip to Florida when again he was struggling to pull on a pair of latex gloves.
It may be worth noting that he opted to hand out sandwiches while Vice President was responsible for handing out bananas which avoided any cheap jokes about Trump's own pint-sized plonker.
I'm sure that the jokes about the Don's stunted schlong will endure, along with those of his weird hair, strangely orange skin and lack of intelligence but one thing he certainly is not is boring, puny pocket-sized pecker almost certainly, but not boring.

Derbyshire Police Buying A Pup

There is a saying originating from the Middle Ages when meat was scarce, but dogs were not, where one would be sold a bag you thought contained a piglet, only to find out that the animal in the sack is a puppy, hence the saying to buy a pup.
The British police make wide use of dogs to sniff out drugs and even money and now Derbyshire police have bought a pair of FBI-trained dogs to help bring paedophiles to justice by 'sniffing them out'.
Police Constable Jan Simpson said: 'We will not tolerate those committing this heinous crime. If you are taking, viewing, downloading or distributing indecent images of children, then it is only a matter of time before you can expect us to knock on your door'.
Sounds impressive that the dogs, an 18-month-old springer spaniel called Tweed and a Labrador named Rob, have been specifically trained in paedophile uncovering until you read exactly what they are trained to sniff out, hard drives.
Not sure how much the Americans charged but what Derbyshire police have spent their money on is a couple of dogs that can lead officers to computers which they can then examine to see if they contain indecent child images.
I doubt if the cost of a couple of tins of dog food a day is going to wipe out the Derbyshire Police budget but if they think that paying money for a dog that can find a computer is worth it then i have a cat that can sniff out chocolate i can sell them to help in the war against terrorism.
They really have in every way literally bought a pup, actually two of them .

Thursday, 14 September 2017

Bye Bye Cassinni

If you were on Saturn this Friday, around 11.30 am, you would see a man made meteor streaking across the Saturnian sky as Cassinni ends its 20 year mission by diving headlong into the giant planet. 
A journey that began in 1997 and took in Venus and Jupiter on it's way to Saturn where it made 300 trips around the Gas giant and will continue to gather data on Saturn’s clouds as it hurtles through them at 69,600 mph until it burns up in the fall through the atmosphere in a strategy to stop it crash-landing and contaminate one of Saturn's moons.
One of the most important discoveries courtesy of Cassinni was the moon Enceladus which holds beneath its icy surface an ocean of liquid water which has led to further planned missions to find out if those far flung seas hold life.
Cassini is indeed a great achievement for mankind, such a shame we can't do more of it.

Happy Birthd....SHHHH!!

Saudi Arabia is Britain's new bestest friend especially as it is immensely rich and spends a fortune on the military equipment that we knock out and as we are seemingly full steam ahead for economic suicide with Brexit, we need all the money we can get our hands on.
The Saudi's never trouble the top of any lists for most tolerant or democratic nations but when it comes to whack-a-doodle religious nut-jobbery they are right up there.
Case in point is today's announcements that they are banning of birthdays as they are: 'unbeneficial things that Islam does not promote' and Pok√©mon Go which is deemed: 'a promotion of gambling and Darwin’s Theory of Evolution'.
It wasn't explained how a quick chorus of Happy Birthday, a cake with a few candles in it might bring down the Islamic faith but then if you run any country by the belief that a man living in a cloud created everything then you are bound to be run by crackpots telling you that blowing out the candles on your birthday will see you on the wrong side of the law.

Wednesday, 13 September 2017

The Shame Of Aung San Suu Kyi

There are not many people on the World Stage who you can admire and up until recently Burma's Aung San Suu Kyi name was mentioned in the same breath as the likes of Nelson Mandela's but her star has fallen fantastically fast. 
For years she was feted as one of the brightest hopes for human rights around the world after her release from the long period of house saw her replacing the military junta in the Burmese Government.
Now, it is the military under her command responsible for the atrocities currently happening in Burma, atrocities that have seen helicopter attacks on villages, rapes, throats of women and children slit and people rounded up and burned alive.
She has refused to speak out and condemn the ethnic cleansing going on against the Rohinga minority in her country as this week reports surfaced of 300,000 Rohingya forced to flee machete-wielding mobs and soldiers armed with machine guns.
By not speaking out against her own military's genocidal massacre of her own citizens, she is legitimising their actions and on a personal level, trashing her reputation and along with it the belief of so many people who believed that she was the type of person that we need more of in this world but instead became the very person she did so much to overthrow.

Sunday, 10 September 2017

Plastic Brit Chris Froome

Bearing in mind that until today no Briton has ever won Spain's Grand Tour and it took 110 years for the first Briton to win a Tour de France, you'd expect the man who then wins four to be the most loved and admired sportsmen of this or any other era, unless it's Chris Froome that is.
I really don't like to see sportsmen and women who wrap themselves in the Union Flag and declare themselves British when they were born elsewhere and should be running, jumping, cycling or hitting people under the flag of their own country.
It is especially prolific in athletics, Somalian born Mo Farah would make sure that he squeezed into every interview how proud he was to be British and we recently had tennis player Johanna Konta who represented Australia until 2012 when she suddenly remembered oops, i'm actually British.
Before her we had Greg Rudseski and Lennox Lewis announcing in broad Canadian accents that they were as English as fish and chips and during the apartheid years the England cricket team had as many South Africans putting on the pads as English.
Our very own Bradley Wiggins is Belgian and it is cycling where our latest 'Great Brit' has covered himself in the flag and did it for Blightly, Saint George and the Queen, ladies and gentlemen, Chris Froome.
That would be the Chris Froome who was born in Nairobi, Kenya, was raised in South Africa and rode for Kenya before discovering his British passport and going to live in the quintessentially British town of Monaco in France.
Yes winning cycling races is a great feat and congratulations but don't try and kid us that you did it for Britain, a country that you have never even lived in.

Friday, 8 September 2017

Useful Directions For Irma

Hurricanes never seem to glide anywhere, they slam, crash or smash into places and Hurricane Irma has Florida in its sights after leaving a swathe of destruction behind it in the Caribbean. 
The sensible Floridians have heeded warnings and hightailed it out of there while the not quite so sensible ones have decided to sit tight so you can only hope that the emergency services are not pulling their bodies out of piles of rubble in a couple of days time.
One person who is sure to be safe is Donald Trump, the man who made much of dismissing global warming to his gullible supporters while applying for planning permission to build a two-mile long wall on the beach next to his golf course in Doonbeg in Ireland, citing on his application that the wall was necessary 'because of global warming and rising sea levels'.
So while he condemns his people to even more dangers from extreme weather due to global warming, he and his business interests will be safe but Mother Nature may have other ideas as in the path of the 180 mph winds currently barrelling towards South Florida are several of the climate change denier's properties. 
Mar-a-Lago, Trump National Doral Miami, Trump Palace, Trump Royale, Trump International Beach Resort Miami, and Trump Hollywood could all be underwater or in a not so neat pile of scattered bricks by the end of the weekend.
Fingers crossed then that the fickle finger of fate spares the remainers and Irma huffs and puffs and blows Trumps buildings down as the hypocrite hasn't had chance to reinforce these against global warming as he did his golf course in Ireland as he was too busy making the case to the useful idiots on his campaign trail that global warming wasn't even happening.

Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Keep Calm And Think MAD

By far the most asked question i have fielded this week is are we on the brink of a nuclear war?
As a Cold War kid it does have a certain feel of the 80s about it only with North Korea taking the role of the Soviets in this latest incarnation and most importantly two very unstable leaders threatening to incinerate each other.
Where we had the relatively stable Ronald Reagan on one side and Mikhail Gorbachev on the other, we now have two leaders who are anything but stable in Donald Trump and Kim Jung-Un and that is where it is different.
Where the USA and USSR had thousands of nuclear tipped weapons pointed at each and if used would wipe us all out several times over, North Korea have a handful with limited range but are backed by China who more than make up for a lack of numbers.
One of the things that stopped us all burning up in a radioactive firestorm in the 80's still holds today, the appropriately named MAD or Mutually Assured Destruction.
This is a doctrine in which use of nuclear weapons by two opposing sides would cause the complete annihilation of both the attacker and the defender so America won't launch a nuclear attack on North Korea or China as it will mean the end of America and to the same end, North Korea or China won't attack America for the same reason, it would be as equally incinerated at its target. 
That was always the reason given to us kids who asked the same question to stop us worrying as it just wouldn't happen, neither the Soviets or the Americans would be that insane to condemn their country to such a fate.
Trump and Kim Jung-Un will continue to bluster, threaten and try to intimidate each other because they are both bullies and pathetic human beings but neither will want to push so hard to test the MAD theory that stops any cold war becoming hot.

Rees-Mogg Falls At First Hurdle

Ever since made Theresa May such a spectacular debacle of the General Election she has been looking over her shoulder at her Conservative Party colleagues sharpening their knives and waiting for them to settle on a replacement and the man they seem to be collecting around is Jacob Rees-Mogg or rather they were because in his first appearance he has not so much shot himself in the foot but blown his leg off.
Obviously his advisers never did there job because he went on Breakfast TV and put forward his views on the sort of things that must have had Theresa May whooping around the Downing Street living room as her potential usurper face planted over the first hurdle.
His chances of gaining the badge that reads 'party leader' slipped away has said he was deeply religious, completely opposed to abortion under any circumstances and opposed same-sex marriage.
That sound will be the noise of feet shuffling back to the drawing board amidst a swirling backlash against the Conservatives who seem to have an amazing knack of being so far out of touch with the electorate that you could almost feel sorry for them, almost.

Sunday, 3 September 2017

Who Needs Abroad When We Have These Places

Summers over, Autumn's here and it is back to work or school but we still have our memories of the places we visited in those lazy, hazy, crazy days of summer.
Due to the economic situation many people decided to stay at home this year so while Britain may not have the climate of the Mediterranean or the sights of Paris or Rome, we do have some brilliantly named places to visit where you can see grinning tourists doing the double thumbs up at the town signs.
There is always a queue for putting the thumbs up in Twatt in Scotland but just south of the border in Cumbria, you won't be twiddling your thumbs in Cock Play or Cockermouth.
Across the pennines in the North East you are assured of a warm welcome in Wetwang and if you head south you will find Rimswell.
No trip around the Midlands is complete without stopping to take in the small but beautiful Bell End while Gloucestershire hosts the beautifully untouched and natural Lower Swell.  
Across the border in Wales stands the impressive Three Cocks or you may decide to go across country to Essex and Fingrinhoe which is a designated conservation area with plenty of birds to watch at your leisure.   
No trip along the South Coast is complete without stopping to have a look inside Thong before carrying on to Shitterton with a pause at Lickfold for refreshments.     
Maybe your ideal trip is across the Irish Sea in the Emerald Isles and your first stop of Hackballscross before carrying on to the North Irish coast where hidden away is Muff, the wild, overgrown pastures of Lousybush, the never closed Fannystown and no tour of Ireland is complete if you don't end your tour in Cum.
Who needs abroad when we have such delights at home.

How To...

If only i had paid more attention in school was once a regular lament by older people but now we have the internet so you can look up how to do almost anything as long as you know how to use Google, if you don't then you really wasn't paying attention were you.
It would appear that the internet has the answers to everything and the Google search engine recently shared a list of the most frequently asked 'how to' questions on the service.
Since 2004 'how to...' based searches have increased by more than 140% and usually involve people asking how to fix household items so they can have a go at mending the TV or vacuum cleaner themselves before shelling out for a repairman
The top ten according to Google:

1.  How to tie a tie
2.  How to kiss
3.  How to get pregnant
4.  How to lose weight
5.  How to draw
6.  How to make money
7.  How to make pancakes
8.  How to write a cover letter
9.  How to make French toast
10. How to lose belly fat

Some of these could have easily been answered if you hadn't been smoking behind the bike sheds during GCSE biology, art or cookery although the second, third and fourth questions look to be in quite a logical order.

Friday, 1 September 2017

Bye Harvey, Hello Irma and Jose

Although the MET and all other weather forecasts don't advertise it, they can only accurately forecast the weather for the next two days and after that it is a best guess and the same goes for Hurricane paths so news that Hurricane Irma is going to smash into the same parts of America as Hurricane Harvey are at best misguided, at worst scaremongering.
Texas is currently reeling from the impact of the devastating, a storm that claimed the lives of more than 40 people and left around 450,000 people living in sheltered accommodation and now all eyes are on the development of second storm system, Irma, in the Atlantic.
The European and American model forecasters have the potentially category 4 Hurricane trajectory either making landfall in Florida or making a sharp right turn and staying out at sea and everything in-between but they wont know for sure until mid-week and they have advised reports on the internet of America taking another bashing as fake because if they don't know with all their state of the art technology, then nobody does.
Something they do know though is that another storm is brewing behind Irma which they are monitoring as it moves into a favourable environment for organising and gaining strength as it moves westwards across the Atlantic and are ready to slap the name 'Jose' on it.
While meteorologists are trying to dampen down the threat of Irma, Hurricanes that begin with the letter 'I' do seem to have a reputation of being the most devastating.
Atlantic storm names repeat every six years but when a hurricane is so deadly or damaging that it is written into history, the name is retired and the most retired names begin with the letter I.
As the sea-surface temperatures are at their warmest this time of year, the 'I' storms have a better chance to be a long-lived, intense hurricane and with seas warming and a warmer climate being able to hold more moisture thanks to Climate Change, the hurricanes are going to be bigger, more intense and throw down more rain.
Irma is going to be another biggie but nobody knows yet where it will end up and Jose could be following close behind so the Caribbean Islands are in for a bad time and America could also yet face another lashing or two and if that doesn't focus the mind of the few dinosaurs who refuse to accept the planet is warming, unfortunately this includes the American President who has pulled out of the Paris Agreement, then the mind bogglingly ignorance will ensure the sight of Americans and citizens of plenty of other nations dying in floods becoming a regular occurrence.

Sunday, 27 August 2017

Karma Pays A Visit To Trumps America

Call it Karma that shortly after Donald Trump pulled America out of the Paris Climate Agreement citing Climate Change to be a conspiracy dreamt up by the Chinese, Texans being are told to clamber up on their roofs and wait for rescue from floods as Mother Nature flings a catastrophic hurricane at his country.
'This event is unprecedented and all impacts are unknown & beyond anything experienced. Follow orders from officials to ensure safety' tweeted the National Weather Service and the Texas Governor, Greg Abbott, said conditions were: 'bad and growing worse' and damage was in the billions of dollars.
Of course one devastating hurricane does not show proof of Climate Change, a warming climate would actually make hurricanes less likely as there is less extremes, but when you do get them they are catastrophic because as any schoolkid paying attention will tell you, warm air holds more water and more water means more rainfall and more rainfall means people being told to climb up onto
their roofs as flood water rises.
This may not prove Climate Change but as Mother Nature takes what's there and ramps it up, this is exactly what Climate Change looks like and as America is a regular recipient of the Atlantic Hurricane Season, they may have to get used to horrific scenes like these and worse for decades to come.
It is only unfortunate that one of the direct victims is not on top of the White House waving his little hands waiting to be rescued because as his nations sinks, he will be the driest person in the country.

Saturday, 26 August 2017

Killer Robot, Android or Cyborg?

Isaac Asimov's 'Three Laws of Robotics' has long been held up as the golden rules that would stop robots overthrowing us humans and keeping some us in cages for their amusement but nobody seems to have told the military as they steam ahead creating killer robots which has resulted in over 100 of the world's top robotics experts asking the United Nations to ban them.
The Russian's have recently revealed the Kalashnikov's neural net combat module which can make its own targeting judgements without any human control and if the Russians are doing it, you can bet your Cyberdyne Systems series T-800 Model 101 Terminator doll the rest of the World's military are at it also. 
Good that the top robotic experts have our backs as Asimov's three laws all depend on a human programmer defining what a human is so far too easy to get around so better we don't rely on them but the world of artificial intelligence and robotics is moving so fast that it isn't only robots that we should be wary of, but also androids, cyborgs and bionics which until last week i thought was all the same thing so boy would i have been embarrassed if something came back from the future to eliminate my son before he become a saviour against machines in a post-apocalyptic future and i called it a robot. 
According to the nerds at Tech Republic.com, a Robot is a machine designed to perform a task while an Android is a robot which is designed to mimic human behaviour and appearance while a cyborg is an organism which has synthetic hardware which interacts directly with the brain and Bionic is an organism which has mechanical or robotic hardware designed to augment or enhance the human body.
All very useless if you are being pursued by a heavily armed part organic, part synthetic life-form but no need to make them even more angry by getting their classification wrong.

Thursday, 24 August 2017

Not Treating Man-Flu

Poor hubby hasn't been very well for the past week but luckily we are inundated with health facts so we have been able to work out how to treat that awful case of man-flu.
Self-diagnosis on the internet is better than going to the Doctor's surgery because the internet tells us that the Doc's is the main place that viruses and colds end up, all those ill people coughing and sneezing in the waiting room apparently.
We won't be using those bottles of hand sanitiser either, the internet again explains that squirting dollops of the stuff  on your hands not only creates wrinkles because it dries out the skin but it also contains chemicals which can be very harmful if used frequently.
We have been told on numerous occasions that taking Antibiotics is helping to create resistant bacteria so lots of rest and water it is then only not the filtered or bottled kind which the bottled water companies filter out minerals that we need to be healthy when they purify their water.
I could give him painkillers but apparently some are not only addictive but can cause the onset of dementia and anti-histamine's are not much better as prolonged use can lead to a significantly higher risk for developing Alzheimer’s.
Maybe some healthy eating will ease his pain but off the menu come fish as some types of fish contain mercury, which can cause serious issues if ingested and we can cross off Margarine as it is full of trans fats, the worst of all fats so we are told.
Maybe a bit of exercise then but jogging is bad for the joints and swimming causes strain on the heart.
Oh well, just leaving him to lay on the sofa whinging about not feeling well it is then.

Sunday, 20 August 2017

Take You Where?

Imagine you are sat in your garden one summer evening enjoying a Pimms and lemonade when over the trees and into your garden looms an interstellar spaceship and from it's bowels, a light shines from which a strange form is gradually lowered down and you find yourself face to face with an alien.
'I am an ambassador for Clor the Mighty of the 8th Grand Galactic Intra Demarcate' says the alien 'who would make it known to the natives of this world, that they are to be put on trial at the Sovereign Earthly Nations Court of Justice for crimes against the Universe so take me to your leader'.
'Blimey' you may say and wish that there was some sort of protocol for when aliens turn up unexpected and demand to be taken to our leader. 
The Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society have been pondering the same thing and they think that World governments should be preparing a co-ordinated action plan in case alien crafts land on Earth.
They think the responsibility of acting on behalf of Earth should fall to the United Nations and a branch set up for 'supra-Earth affairs' to establish protocol structures.
The discussion is still on-going so no decision yet of who exactly the leader is that we should be directing them to but if they are holding an anal probe then there are a few World leaders you could direct them to as long as they promise not to bring them back afterwards.

Harking Back To A Better Time Musically

I was too young for the Sex Pistols and Ramones in the 70s but was perfectly placed age-wise in the late 80s and early 90s for Guns 'n' Roses and Nirvana who continue to be celebrated on the chests of teenagers today in the form of t-shirts. 
I regularly see T-shirt's of all four the previously mentioned bands who were doing their thing long before most of the wearers were even born which leads me to think that either these four in particular had such a profound effect on music that almost 40 years later in the case of the Pistols that they are still being listened to or that with the bands around today, the kids just don't have an equivalent.
I come down on the side of the latter because as a teenager i was one of so many teenagers who would sit in a garage with a guitar, practising the riffs from Blitzkreig Bop or Sweet Child o' Mine so who would teenagers try to emulate from the charts today?
Nobody i venture which is why even if they were too young to have experienced the band, decades later Nirvana, Guns 'n' Roses, The Sex Pistol's and The Ramones are still more of a household name as there are no bands or artists around today with the musical impact whose name will be sported on the t-shirts of kids 30 years from now.
I would also throw into the ring the fact that all four of these bands had huge characters with as front-men and today's bands don't, more likely to give a hotel room a bit of a going over with the vacuum then trash it.
The truth is we just don't make rock superstars anymore. The superstars of today, the ones who are sold as personalities, are carefully controlled Simon Cowell type identi-kit pop stars dishing out the standard ballads or cover versions. 
Punk came along to replace bands like ABBA and dislodge Disco and Grunge booted aside the Stock, Aitken and Waterman puppets such as Rick Astley and Kylie Minogue so we can only hope that in the pipeline is something to rudely push aside the Adele's, Rhianna's and Little Mix's of the current pop world who will be long forgotten and not appearing on the chest of anyone in 2047.

Saturday, 19 August 2017

General Lee And The Nazi's

Being away on my holidays, i haven't been following the Charlottesville protests and its aftermath very closely but from what i have seen, a bunch of extreme right wingers were protesting over the removal of a statue of an old pro-slavery General and another group of anti-racists and anti-fascists, who have been labelled as left wing for some reason, clashed and one deranged right winger drove his car into the protesters and killed a female.
Trump, a man so stupid you wouldn't trust him to face the right way on the toilet, sent out a tweet refusing to condemn the right wingers and even equated the anti-fascist protesters with the likes of the KKK and the Nazi flag wavers.
In the resulting furor over his refusal to condemn the people dishing out Nazi salutes, he did the old trick of throwing a dead cat onto the table in the shape of a sacked Steve Bannon to change the conversation away from his support for his base of right wing racists.
Trump, a fan of Adolf Hitler according to his ex-wife who revealed he was an avid reader of the Nazi leader and kept a book of his speeches next to their bed, has been widely condemned by most people who made the point that if you find yourself on the side of fascist Nazi's, you are probably on the wrong side.  
To me, General Lee was the name of the car in The Dukes of Hazard but he was also a General in the American Civil War who fought to maintain slavery so you may ask who would want a statue of a nasty old racist in their city anyway but that is an ongoing discussion over statues of hideous men who in the cold light of the 21st Century are seen in a very different light from previous generations.
The problem with having statues, especially of military personnel, is that the person involved is celebrated for the slaughter, or in the case of Lee the violent subjugation, of other people.
If we are going to celebrate anyone with a likeness in our towns and cities, it should be people who are genuine heroes who have helped mankind, not conquered, enslaved or killed as many as possible of them.
A good guide is if the people who want to keep the statue are chanting Nazi slogans, draping themselves in Swastika's and are driving their cars into groups of people, then the statue is probably not of someone who should be celebrated.

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Look At The £3bn New Shooty Thing

Look everyone at the new shiny ship we have built.
No don't look at the £3 billion bill, just wave your little British flags and puff your chest out with pride that we may be skint and not have a money tree to fund the wages of police or nurses and have food-banks, cutbacks, closing facilities for the old, a criminally-underfunded NHS, social deprivation, high levels of homelessness and the highest levels of child-poverty in Europe but can still take billions from our dwindling tax coffers and spend it on a piece of massive military kit.
Rule Britannia and Britannia rules the waves and all that and a huge British aircraft carrier coming to an oil rich Muslim country soon (or as soon as we get our hands on some aircraft).

Sunday, 13 August 2017

Leninism, Stalinism and Trotskyism In A Nutshell

Of the three well known Russian Revolutionaries, Leon Trotsky is probably the least well known apart from the fact that he was name checked in a Strangler song and was killed by an ice pick.
Now that Tony Blair has come out as a former Trotskyite, interest has grown in the man and what he stood for and how it differed from Marxism explained here.
Fact is, Marxism is the idea put forward by Karl Marx of a community (hence the name Communism) which is ruled by the people for the benefit of all while Leninism, Stalinism and Trotskyism are the interpretations of the ways of achieving Marxism. 
A quick review of the Russian Revolution is required so we have Lenin, Stalin and Trotksy at the head of the Bolshevik Party who disposed the Royals and found themselves in charge and wondering what to do next. 
Lenin was the boss and he, Stalin and Trotsky decided what was required in order to achieve Communism would be the need to set up a ruling Party, named the Vanguard, to oversee the installation of Communism and which would then fade away in time to leave the workers in charge.
So far, everybody on the same Marxism page but now comes the difference because Marx said for Communism to succeed, it would need to spread around the capitalist nations of the World but Lenin wanted to ensure Communism was settled in Russia before spreading the ideal out to other countries, this is called Permanent Revolution as in a domino effect where there would always been one country following another into Communism.
Trotsky didn't want to wait and wanted to strike while the iron was hot and spread it far and wide while Stalin wanted to keep it only in Russia and to turn the vanguard party into a permanent Government.
Lenin and Trotsky therefore were together for the Permanent Revolution but Stalin was against the idea but they managed to keep the far more authoritarian Stalin subdued until Lenin died in 1924 and Stalin grabbed power, exiled Trotsky to Kazakhstan and executed almost all of the Party's Trotskyists in what become known as the Great Purges and effectively removed all of Trotsky's influence.
Stalinism took over and to stop Trotsky's continued criticism of Stalin's rule, after several assassination attempts, he succeeded and he died in his Mexican home from a pick axe to the head in 1940.
Trotskyism then is the idea by Leon Trotsky that the Marxist theory should be spread around the World rather than only one state.

Thursday, 10 August 2017

UK To Join Another Misguided American Conflict?

In recent history Great Britain has made several wrongheaded decisions to join American Presidents in their military adventures, Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya are sores that refuse to heal and Britain could easily have stayed out of.
Now that easily the worst US President in living memory is threatening to unleash fire and fury on North Korea, the question to ask is will Britain be joining in the mass slaughter of North Korean's?
Britain, also known as America’s lap dog after Blair's pandering to GW Bush, could formally refuse any call for help in waging war against Kim Jong Un as membership of NATO does not automatically oblige it to participate in a conflict as Article 5 of the North Atlantic Treaty which states that an attack on one NATO member is an act of aggression against the entire military alliance,
is limited only to attacks on member states’ territories in North America, Europe and the Atlantic.
Britain itself found this out when Margaret Thatcher attempted to invoke NATO’s collective self-defence provision over the Argentinian invasion of the Falklands.
The US, however, could exercise pressure to ensure Britain’s support in any military confrontation with North Korea as Britain is planning for an extensive trade deal with the US to soften the blow of Brexit and wouldn't want to jeopardise that by not backing America in yet another military adventure.
As Britain has been at America's side at every ill-conceived conflict since 2001, it is likely that Britain will need no pressure and we could be heading towards another misguided American led conflict that we have no business, or need, to be involved in.

Another Problem With Electric Cars

We are starting to see more and more electric cars on our streets but i came across a previous unthought of problem this afternoon while crossing the street, they are silent.
I got to the crossing just as the lights were turning back to amber and there sat a car, i looked at the driver, the driver looked at me and i thought that as his car was not making any noise, he had broken down or stalled at the lights.
Assuming i would have time to cross as he would have to re-start his engine, i stepped out just as he pulled away, silently.
I jumped back, apologised and waited for the next green man to flash but apart from me trying to cross roads, i can see silent cars being an issue, more so for pedestrians, especially visually impaired ones, and cyclists who rely on hearing approaching cars.
With the Government recently announcing that petrol and diesel vehicles are to be consigned to history on British roads by 2040 and the price of buying an electric vehicle tumbling, a tonne of metal travelling silently at 30mph around our streets is already causing problems with a report from the Guide Dogs charity found a 54% increase in pedestrian injuries in accidents involving quiet cars.
The EU have ruled that car builders must incorporate artificial sound generators in their cars by 2021 but 4 years seems quite a way in the future when people are being injured now.
Guess for the next few years when i cross the road i will just have to adhere less to the 'Listen' part of the 'Stop, Look and Listen' mantra we had drummed into us as children.

Factually Wrong Song Lyrics

I recently read a blog post where the author lambasted Alanis Morissette for her use of the word 'Ironic' in her song, pointing out that rain on your wedding day, a free ride when you've already paid or good advice that you just didn't take isn't ironic at all as irony is 'using language that normally signifies the opposite'.
I pointed out in return that he was 22 years too late as she was suitably hit over the head with it back in 1995 when the song came out to which the reply was that the author was only 22 which is fair enough as he would have been preoccupied with filling his nappy and dribbling at the time and missed the whole thing.
There are some song lyrics which do make you wonder why nobody fact checked them before they were released, U2's 'Pride' has a line about Martin Luther King getting shot: 'Early morning, April 4/Shot rings out in the Memphis sky' although he was shot in the evening.
The Band Aid signal 'Do They Know It's Christmas' is a charity single which raised millions for drought striken Africa so it feels churlish to point out that the line sung by Paul Weller, Sting and Boy George that 'there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas time' is wrong unless Morocco is no longer in the continent as it snows every winter in Morocco.
There is also 'Where nothing ever grows/No rain or rivers flow' when the continent has the second longest river in the Nile winding through it along with the Congo river but as it was for charity we can let them slide .
Unfortunately we can't do the same for RUN DMC who rapped: 'There's three of us, but we're not the Beatles' in their King of Rock single which shows a real blind spot either for counting or the most famous four-peice in music.
Pink Floyd singing 'We Don't Need No Education' in their song ‘Another Brick In The Wall’ shows that in using a double negative they badly do need education and it probably wouldn't be wise to go orienteering with The Who as who knows what sort of crazy compass they were using when they came up with the lyric 'The north side of my town faced east and the east was facing south' in their
song 'Substitute'.
The song 'Catch a Falling Star' tells you to not only catch it but to then put it in your pocket although the next line should warn you that as it has just reached a heat of 3,000F or 1,650C falling through the atmosphere, it will probably burn straight through your leg if you did.
Such disregard for all thing astronomical is also present in 'Save the Best for Last' where Vanessa Williams tells us 'Sometimes the sun goes 'round the moon' which it doesn't and Christopher Cross in Arthur’s Theme tells us what to do 'When you get caught between the moon and New York City'. He suggest fall in love but as the moon is about 240,000 miles away which would put you 120,000 miles out in space if you are caught between New York and the Moon, i would suggest screaming while you fall to your death as more appropriate.
Lions are nocturnal and sleep during the day so 'In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight' is misleading, as is Sade's Smooth Operator song which contains a blunder obvious to anyone with a map of America when she says: 'Coast to coast, L.A. to Chicago' although 'Coast to somewhere just past the middle' probably doesn't have the same ring to it. 
Napoleon didn't surrender at Waterloo, he was captured by the British weeks later trying to sneak off to North America so you shouldn't trust Swedish singers with British and French history and literacy lessons from Sam Cooke should be avoided as in 'Another Saturday Night' he describes being set up with a girl who: 'had a strange resemblance to a cat named Frankenstein' so unless he meant that she looked like the mad scientist Dr Frankenstein who created the monster, he got that wrong. 
I'm sure there are many more inaccuracies which have slipped through the net but Wang Chung's 'Dancehall Days' with 'Take your baby by the wrist/And in her mouth an amethyst' and Oasis's 'Slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball' in Champagne Supernova
always leave me wondering.

Wednesday, 9 August 2017

Happy Birthday Global Recession

Today seems to have been chosen as the tenth birthday of the sinking of the global economy with collapsing banks, unemployment soaring, governments going bust and ushering in a decade of austerity measures.
The 9th August 2007 was the day that a French bank admitted it pulled the plug on investments in US property which sparked a recession so deep that it continues to reverberate on the 9th August 2017.
The crisis ripped a huge hole in the many nation's finances and in Britain severe austerity measures followed but are now on the brink of being abandoned as the total debt pile is still rising and currently stands at a whopping £1.7 trillion, almost 90% of the UK's total national income and double the amount of debt when austerity began.
The argument is that the decade of austerity has actually weakened the economy hence the u-turn now but with recessions being a constant part of Capitalism, that the politicians, regulators, and financiers are trying to put a sticking plaster over it so they can carry on as before rather than find ways to stop a similar catastrophe befalling the system should be a cause for concern.
The experts are saying that in 2007 the economies of Australia, Belgium, China, Canada and South Korea avoided the worst of the crisis and helped to steady the World's economic ship but even they can not avoid the next one which is being talked about as we are still suffering from the last one and we know is coming because it is inevitable that another devastating collapse is coming because the system used collapses with such alarming regularity and consequences every decade.

No Nuclear WInter Coming Soon

One of the concerns when Donald Trump because President was that he would have access to the American nuclear arsenal but the thought was that even he wouldn't be so moronic to actually get his little hands near the red button but in a moment of typical Trump ego stroking he has escalated a crisis with nuclear armed North Korea.
Within a couple of hours of Donald Trump's warning not to make any more threats, on penalty of 'fire and fury', North Korea made yet another detailed threat that they were carefully examining plans to strike the US territory of Guam.
Seems he is plenty stupid enough after all to bring the world to the brink of nuclear war and scarily the decisions are being made by two imbeciles posturing and putting many lives at risk in defence of their own ego's.
As Kim Jung Un justifies his nuclear ambitions as defending his nation from a rampant United States who go around bombing nations to bring about regime change, Trump's infantile bluster has made his point for him as it is exactly what he is saying he will do.
In his deluded mind, Trump probably thinks that by ratcheting up the rhetoric and threatening to rain down fire and fury will bring the Communist leaders begging for talks and renouncing its nuclear ambitions.
Except they won't but neither will either send the World into a nuclear winter as as dumb and foolhardy as Trump and Jung Un may be, both know that if things escalate beyond the current shouting match, everybody loses.  
Donald Trump knows that minutes after the first missile lands in North Korea, South Korea, Japan and the western seaboard of the United States will be devastated while Kim knows that attacking Guam would be suicide for him, his regime and his country which would be swiftly annihilated.
The Mutually Assured Destruction that did so much to keep the Cold War from turning Hot is back in play but the rhetoric is good for both leaders as it justifies the young Kim's view and by Trump cranking up the North Korean threat to eleven, it distracts from his ever increasing problems at home.

Political Traveling Wilburys

Two things Great Britain needs more than anything is a new Government and to stop the barnstorming crazy that is Brexit.
Handily, with one stone we could brain two birds as the call for a new Anti-Brexit Political Party goes out and calls for the best of all the main parties to come together to 'stop Brexit catastrophe'.
The former chief of staff to the Brexit Secretary is calling for a new political movement to oppose Britain's exit from the EU, and he has called out Labour's Chuka Umunna, Stella Creasy, Rachel Reeves, Pat McFadden and Tory MPs Anna Soubry, Nicky Morgan, Nicholas Soames as well as the Liberal Democrats leader, Vince Cable.
Cable seems well up for it, tweeting that he agreed and the public should have a chance to shift away from Brexit but no news so far from the potential supergroup of MP's.
Tony Blair has already made some of the same noises and has even began looking into potential funding streams for the new party which could prove to be the Achilles heel, because if Blair is involved then it will be very hard for the newcomers to attract supporters willing to find themselves on the same side of the man they have been hounding as a war criminal for the past decade.
As we are pencilled in to commit the ultimate act of financial stupidity on 29 March 2019 and as the Conservatives are hanging onto power by their fingernails, they had better get a move on if the political equivalent of the Traveling Wilburys want to step in and save us from our own stupidity.