Friday 25 March 2016

The Real Story Of Easter

As we previously found out, almost every story in the Bible was pilfered from other, older religions that were knocking around at the time when the Early Christians cobbled together their new Christian religion.
So where did the Ned Flanders of the time steal the Easter story from?
They obviously heard the story of the Ancient Babylonian God 'Ishtar', the offspring of the moon-goddess and the sun-god who came into the world floating down the Euphrates river in a giant egg that fell from the Moon.
Ishtar had a child called Tammuz, immaculately conceived by the rays of the sun-god Baal, but Tammuz was killed by a wild boar while out hunting one day. Ishtar worshippers proclaimed a forty day period of time of sorrow each year prior to the anniversary of the death of Tammuz.
Every year, on the first Sunday after the first full moon after the spring equinox, a celebration was made with rabbits (Tammuz had a particular fondness of rabbits for some reason) and eggs.
The truth is that the forty days of Lent, eggs and rabbits have everything to do with the ancient pagan religion of Ancient Babylon which the Christians pinched, replaced Ishtar with their own guy and hoped nobody would notice.
As for the actual crucifixtion and resurrection, choose from the Greek stories of Dionysus, Adonis or Persephone, Egyptian Osiris, Norse Odin or Lemminkainen who were all earlier religious figures who died and were resurrected long before the Christians decided they needed a similar story, threw in a wooden cross and a thorny crown and put in their newly written book.

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