The votes are in and the people of the Falklands Islands have overwhelmingly chosen to be British.
Good for them but I didn't even know we had a choice of nationality but as our Government is offering out nationalities i will have a Canadian one please because everyone likes Canadians.
Well, i would but then i would have to castigate myself over the way us Canadians barbarically murder tens of thousands of baby seals each year so they can keep that Canadian passport and i will take an Australian one instead.
Or rather i would but i can't drink that much and the English would be making bad cricket jokes at me all day so sorry Bruce it's going to have to be an American one but then everyone would just think i was Canadian anyway and castigate me over killing tens of thousands of baby seals each year.
I could become French but that would mean having to be French so that's out the window but i have narrowed it down to either becoming Japanese, Swedish, a New Zealander or staying British.
I have often heard that the Japanese are most like the British but i would be expected to learn Japanese and that language gives me a headache just looking at it.
Everyone likes Sweden and nobody seems to have a bad word to say about the New Zealanders but i always associate New Zealand with the legs of lamb in the butchers window so thank you Mr Cameron but you can stick your country and please forward me the details of where to send my passport and who i have to call in Stockholm.
Failing that i will stay British and arrogantly tell everyone else what to do, i'm easy either way.
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