Saturday 9 February 2013

Gonna Need Some New Slippers

While writing the previous post about the Earth spinning faster and what it would mean for mankind (having to buy new clocks & calendars was my conclusion) i came across something so bone chillingly scary that Climate Change is responsible for that, I had to take a few minutes to compose myself and eat the last few Malteasers that my husband was saving until later, it was that shocking.
The effects of Climate Change are well known, increased freak weather events and desertification and such but what i was not prepared for was bigger spiders.   
A group of Danish scientists have concluded a ten year study of the meat-eating wolf spider and found out that warming temperatures means more hunting time and the animals have been growing larger and are on average 2% bigger than they were at the start of the study.
As if giant, meat eating spiders stomping around the place in a few years isn't enough to worry about, the larger adult females are producing more offspring.
So when you are out buying new clocks and calendars to keep pace with the speeding up of the planets rotation, you might want to pick yourself up some bigger whacking slippers because the invasion of the giant, meat eating spiders is imminent and those puny fluffy things ain't gonna cut it when those massive spider mandibles are chomping on your legs.
I feel faint, where did my daughter put that Terry's Chocolate Orange she got for Christmas and was saving for later.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

now can I have a gun to kill giant meat eating spiders? or will i have to be like a hobbit and fight them off with a magical orc detecting blade...

q

Lucy said...

No guns, just a really big glass and a huge piece of paper.