Friday 30 November 2012

Evil Santa

It is not easy to know where to lay the blame for eating disorders, obesity, anti-social behaviour and drug & alcohol abuse. Not easy that is unless you are a barnpot like Pastor Harry of the Church of Philadelphia who knows exactly who is to blame, Father Christmas.
As he explains on the SANTA BE GONE section of his website 'It is very possible that the stress caused by The SANTA LIE causes a child to suffer POST TRAUMATIC STRESS SYNDROME and causes a wide range of serious mental illnesses for a child as they reach Adolescence from bed wetting, anxiety, OCD and bi-polar disorders to depression, hyperactivity, eating disorders, obesity, anti- social behaviour and drug & alcohol abuse. THE SANTA LIE MAY WELL BE THE WORST FORM OF CHILD ABUSE TODAY!'
He believes that 'SATAN is the one who is laughing the loudest as he urges Churches and Christian Parents to turn Christmas, The Birth of Christ, into his biggest Lie Ever Told and if Santa is a Lie, then you are sinning against God and your children when you tell them that Santa Is Real and lying to your Children about Santa is a work of Satan and will keep you out of heaven, unless you repent and practise truth'.
But Pastor Harry, what can we do?? Luckily, the Pastor has thought of that and he can sell you some freaky looking 'Burnable Effigy Dolls' which use a specially designed 'filler' that burns quickly and brilliantly. The cost of these hand made effigy dolls is $95.00 per doll (plus $25.00 shipping and handling). Just to make sure that Jesus will let you in, he suggests 'Maybe you can buy two dolls one for the night and one for the day'. Salvation guaranteed for $240, thanks Pastor Harry, but what about the children?
'If you want your child to grow up normal, psychologically healthy and value honesty' says Harry, 'then REMOVE THE SANTA LIE FROM YOUR HOME AND THEIR LIVES! Is it just an accident that SANTA scrambled = SATAN, the Father of Lies? A Child who has been deceived by The Santa Lie not only doubts the Truth about JESUS but everything else a parent tells them from smoking and drugs are bad to sex outside of marriage is harmful. After all, why should a child believe a bonified LIAR who has lied to them about Santa?'
'America and our youth leads the world in anxiety and depression disorders, eating disorders, alcohol and drug abuse and violence. America also leads the world in LYING TO OUR CHILDREN ABOUT SANTA.  Coincidence?'
There you have it, tell kids about Santa and they end up obese, an anorexic drug taker with mental issues and you wont get into heaven.
Thanks Pastor Harry for showing us that believing in the man in the sky that nobody ever sees is such a danger, we can tell our kids straight out that he doesn't exist and it will endanger your well being and mental health to believe that he is real.  
Santa on the other hand, he exists.

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