Dear people of the UK
As you may have heard today, Britain is in its longest double-dip recession ever with the Office for National Statistics confirming a GDP drop of 0.7% in the second quarter.
As your Prime Minister, I feel obliged to remind you that the Chancellor, George Osbourne, the man charged with turning around the fortunes of the country and who holds all our futures in the palm of his hand, is a History graduate who's only job before joining the Conservative Party was folding towels in Selfridges.
Please be kind to him, he is still learning and he isn't the brightest.
Your Friend
D Cameron
PS..It's all Labours fault.
2 comments:
Giving the most important job in the land to Gideon is completely in keeping with the current trend of rewarding loyal 'yes men' who tow the line, rather than people with actual talent. Unfortunately, his dogmatic nature (austerity is Plan A; there is no Plan B) is stunting growth, retarding consumer confidence and costing jobs. Cameron won't sack him though, not just because they're part of the same Eton mafia, but because he feels the same way.
The UK economy will eventually recover, and these idiots will claim the credit, as they bat away any suggestion that the recovery would have arrived both stronger and sooner if they'd adopted a more flexible growth-led strategy. They're happy doing what they're doing though because, when the economy finally gets back onto an even keel, the figures will show that the Tories have presided over yet another redistribution of wealth from the poor to the rich, exacerbating the already wide gaps in society. No help for the small businessman - plenty of perks for the massive corporations instead. And really, that's what the Tories are there for, at the end of the day.
He got the tax rate for the rich down, job done as far as Tories are concerned. Now if Dave can only privatise the NHS.
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